and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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