I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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