her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
