There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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