my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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