woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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