Can Purell be used as lube?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
