You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Randomize
