Are we in a gay sports bar?
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
My vagina is officially offended.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
