hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
