"it" just moved
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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