I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
