NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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