whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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