her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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