C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Randomize
