new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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