Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
My legs feel like baby dolphins
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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