yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
