Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
where are my eyebrows?
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