so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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