i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Randomize
