He had one of those small greek statue penises
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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