Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
