I am full of burrito and curiosity
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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