I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
handjob tips. give me some.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Randomize
