Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize