I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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