Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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