Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
