Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
