i jhust puked up my retainher.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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