If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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