You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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