Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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