I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
