You were right. It hurts to walk today.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
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