in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
