yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
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You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
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I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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