worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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