I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
