I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
