Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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