How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
