i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
