did you get engaged???
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
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It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
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Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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