never play flip cup with pint glasses
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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