why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
