did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Randomize