"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
