I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
