Well douche your snatch and let's go!
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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