Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
