Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Randomize
