You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Randomize
