I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Still dying that you shit outside
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
