Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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