went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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