lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
