I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
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I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
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You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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