just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
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He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
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Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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