There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
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