I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Who put my cat in the fridge?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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