I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
wow bdsm is so cute
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