drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
