i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
