in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
