there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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