if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
