Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
