i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
