ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
